just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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