so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
