When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
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