you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
The Olympian is in my bed
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