I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
