I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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