if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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