yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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