from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
