What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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