Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
it's great music for shaving your balls
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
