I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize