so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
