Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
