why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
