Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
