Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
