idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
