the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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