i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
