If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
