Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
