We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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