Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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