He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
