Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Congratulations! We have a period
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
