I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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