What did we do last night that was yellow?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Randomize
