i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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