I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
