I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
