some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You were trust falling into bushes
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
