508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
