JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
