He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
