so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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