Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
