My hand turned me down
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
