i just google imaged poop.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
