the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
