i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
