he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
