I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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