Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
