Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
