i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
