can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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