haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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