ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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