Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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